Why Babies Have Mothers

Remembering Loma Prieta

October 17, 1989...a date that residents of the Bay Area (California) will never forget - a day tens of thousands of us thought we would die. When the death toll was finally confirmed, there were 63 casualties on the list and 3,757 were injured. Thousands found themselves homeless.

But these numbers could have been significantly higher. It was 5:04 p.m. when the 7.1 earthquake hit. For the majority, it was the largest tremor they had ever experienced. Major League Baseball players had just begun their warm-up in preparation for their World Series championship game - the Oakland A's vs. San Francisco Giants. It was this very game that may have saved the lives of hundreds.

The Nimitz Freeway in west Oakland was the site where most of the deaths occurred. A portion of the Nimitz bridge - a double-deck section named The Cypress Street Viaduct - collapsed as a result of the shaker. The top section crashed down onto dozens of motorists. Those who were not crushed, found themselves trapped.

During rush-hour, the Bay Bridge would have normally been congested. Because Series game was taking place in the Bay, and both Bay Area teams were playing each other, this meant that many folks had left work early to either attend the game or catch the competition on television at home or in local sports bars. There was little traffic on the freeway at the time.

A rescue effort commenced immediately. Residents near-by and factory workers used ladders and forklifts to rescue victims from the buckled freeway through four-foot gaps in some portions of the bridge. A mostly volunteer operation continued day and night for the next three days until halted by former President George Bush and Governor George Duekmejian. 42 perished.

My Personal Story
It was a Tuesday afternoon. Along with my sister and best gal pal, Tomoe, we headed over to hang out on the front lawn of our middle school to watch our friends play football as we often did after school. The boys, tired and ready for a break came and sat with us girls for awhile. Right before the earthquake struck, my friend Victor had sat and leaned up against my back. We were chatting when I felt the initial movement. I thought he was pushing against me and actually told him to stop before the ground suddenly jolted beneath us.

There were shouts and screams and we all ran, sometimes tripping to the center of the lawn. Earthquake safety is something we had been taught several times a year at school since kindergarten. Having gathered in front of the school, we were in danger of being in the path of broken glass from the large windows on the face of the building. I initially buried my face into the grass as the ground rolled in random motion. As it started to fade, I turned my head and saw how the utility poles took on an appearance of being made of rubber, service lines swaying back and forth. It was then that I noticed my sister, Kristi, and Victor's brother, Frankie, were too close. I stood up and called for them to move when suddenly another jolt knocked me to the ground.

The quake lasted 15 seconds. At the time, it felt like a minute. When things settled, most of the boys jumped on their bikes and headed home. Kristi, Tomoe and I lived the furthest from the school. Victor and Frankie lived the closest. Some of the other boys, like John and Hector, headed to Victor's house with us thinking we should all take cover there. When we walked into the house, there was a terrible mess. Nearly everything was on the floor. We decided it was not safe to stay.

The boys did not want to send us girls off on our own, so they escorted us the 1.4 miles to where we lived. Along the way, we came across many people outside, everyone asking each other if they were okay. During that trek home, there were several aftershocks (subsequent earthquakes). Just before we reached Cahalan Park, the halfway point, we came across an off-duty police officer pedaling his bike. He advised us to stay off of the sidewalks and to walk down the center of the street to keep us as far away from structures and power lines as possible.

We arrived home to find our place in disarray. Confused and scared, we weren't sure it was best to stay inside. We decided to head out to the guest parking lot which was just a few feet from our house. That was when Mom arrived. She immediately headed home after the quake, as thousands of others did to check on their families. We were so relieved when we saw her minivan pulling in from off of the main street. Even though a couple of the boys had brought their bikes, she insisted that everyone pile in to be driven home safely.

Afterwards, we were invited to stay at the Armendariz house. They were like family to us, so we all huddled at their home until the next day. We were without electricity for several hours. A trip to bring Kentucky Fried Chicken home took nearly two hours due to the number of customers needing to purchase a hot meal. Our nerves were never quite calm, though we tried to laugh and distract ourselves. The aftershocks continued through the night.

We did not attend school the next day, as many others didn't. We learned of the deaths, destruction, and fires by watching the news non-stop once the power had returned. We saw numerous replays of cars mangled beneath the Cypress Structure and even a live shot of a car falling through a broken section of the Bay Bridge.

It took several weeks for things to feel almost normal again -for many of us, anyway. Others were forced to demolish their homes or businesses and re-build. There are those like me, who still feel a small twinge of anxiety when crossing any one of the bridges that connect the San Mateo/San Francisco/Oakland counties over the Pacific Ocean.

Now that I have left earthquake country, I wonder if I will always be sensitive to the earth's vibrations - as many Californians are. While small earthquakes do occur here in Indy, they usually go undetected by the public. My sister however, says that she does feel them. I suppose it comes from living on land that did shift and rumble beneath us more often. The Loma Prieta was the largest seismic event we had ever experienced in our lifetime. Up until then, quakes had only been strong enough to make us jittery for a short period.

Amid jokes of California breaking off into the sea and serious scientific studies that suggest the Big One is still to come, I can only hope that technology and wisdom allows the residents of the Sunshine State to prepare to take the next hit. While man has made a habit of tampering with Mother Nature...there are certain things far beyond our control.

We have learned alot since 1906. Hopefully that knowledge, combined with that acquired on October 17, 1989, will give us the opportunity to prevent tragedies like those experienced around the world where even smaller events can steal the lives of many.

Moments of Inspiration

Good friends often say, they find it quite remarkable that I never complain or even talk about what it takes for me to get through life as a burn survivor. I have faced trauma, procedures, curious looks and downright cruelty for 29 years now. On December 17th, I will celebrate my birthday. It will also be the anniversary of my coming home after several months on the burn unit at Valley Medical Hospital nearly three decades ago.

Those rare times - when I am asked about how I cope- my answer is always the same. Though my pain is rooted at depths too profound to explain, I know that there are others who have suffered much more in this life.

And so, I have a collection of heroes. A list of persons, young and old, who I can look towards and experience a Moment of Inspiration.

Today, I think of the courage of Adam Bender. A one-legged boy who has the drive to play competitive sports on "regular" teams with "regular" kids.

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...and Erik Knotts, a 10-year-old knight, whose bravery drives him through life despite the loss of both legs.

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When I look at these spirited young boys, boys with wisdom that seems impossible at their ages, boys who dare life to prevent them from succeeding, how can I not do the same?

Comics By Me

My new fun...well, I stumbled upon this a month or so ago. Right before all the dental issues. I thought it was clever and tried it out.

Make Beliefs Comix is a free website (donations accepted) that is 100% family friendly. It allows users to create their own comic strips. There is a cast of several different characters pre-sketched for one to build a story around. From thought bubbles to speech bubbles, it allows the writer to create a story board from one to 4 panels long.

For me, I thought this might be fun to create memory comics about our family's day to day moments. I've always wanted to keep a proper journal, but with a never-ending list of To-do's, I fight to keep up with it.

Here is my first "publication"...It was inspired by my first grader who was not feeling too well and thought maybe he should stay home from school. Then I reminded him that it was "Guest Artist" day and Papi and I were planning to join his class to help out with a special project. This motivated him to at least have breakfast and see how he felt once his body got warmed up. Sure enough, he wasn't as tired by the time he'd completed his morning routine.

Afterwards, I jumped onto http://www.makebeliefscomix.com and went to work myself. Enjoy.
(click on image for a close-up of the script)

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Daddy Knows Best (Sometimes, lol)

The moment is inevitable. It arrives without warning and more often than we mothers would like to admit. After all, we know everything about our children and how to take care of them, right? We nurse them, we groom them, and we most certainly take on the task of coordinating their clothes.

But every once in awhile, SLAM!!! Daddy knows best.

My little Chica is quite the character at two years of age. Having spent the last year living in very tight living quarters with no AC, she got used to traipsing around in her diaper only. Every so often we can get her to keep a t-shirt on, but dare we slip a pair of shorts or pants on her, she will snatch them off and go about her play. Sure, we try dressing her again, but then it becomes a cycle repeated over and over. I choose my battles. I have way too much to do, to stop every 20 minutes to re-clothe the child.

The only time she stays dressed is when we go bye-bye. Well...except for the socks and shoes part. As soon as her bottom hits the car seat and I trek around to the driver's side and get in, plop-plop...there go the shoes. Shoes stay on the feet, ONLY when actively walking around outside (and sometimes, not even then).

So as fall has started to settle in, the weather has made a remarkable change. Remarkable to us especially, as having lived in California, cool weather shows up as late as mid-November or early December sometimes. It has been downright chilly around these parts for several weeks now.

Slowly, we've been trying to get Chica to keep her clothes on for longer periods of time without battling with her. I even purchased her a few pairs of tights, figuring that under her pants, they would substitute well for socks. Nana brought home snow boots for the munchkins yesterday. She picked out two sizes so we could get the right fit.

Between Nana, Tia Kiki and I, we could not get either pair on to the little girl's feet. Neither fit quite right and with the thickness of the boots, it was hard to tell what was going on inside. When I finally got them on her-or so I thought- she took a few steps and said "ouchey, ouchey", and immediately kicked them off. Papi stood by watching the scene but said nothing.

Finally ten minutes later, after we'd given up, he decided to give it a try. He took her over to the armchair, sat her in his lap and pushed her left foot down into the boot. Struggling, he removed it and then proceeded to shove his hand down inside. When he pulled his hand back out again, it was wrapped around a tight ball of tissue paper. UGH! I felt like such a dummy, but couldn't help laugh. The tissue was all the way at the tip of the toe so it couldn't be seen by simply looking down into the boot. Yet, it never occured to any of us women to stick our hands in and check for obstructions. Sure enough...when he checked the right boot, out came a matching ball of tissue.

Well, figuring Lil Miss would be quite frustrated still, I crossed my fingers and hoped she'd keep them on long enough so we could make sure she could walk in them. To our surprise...she kept those suckers on for two hours. She walked all around the house in them boots. Couldn't believe it. When Nana went to take her upstairs to the play area, she made the mistake of removing the boots, and Chica just about had a meltdown. On again, went the boots.

Thanks Daddy. You saved the day. And, you saved Nana an additional and unnecessary shopping trip for another pair of boots. We are ready for winter, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

OUCH!

The last 9 days have been dedicated to working through dental pain. I have actually been living on ibuprofen for a couple of months to manage (with the hopes I'd get enough time to be ready to visit the dentist when it was more finacially feasible). I had been referred to a specialist in California after my regular determined he wouldn't be able to work on the back of my mouth. But then I was expecting Patito so that got postponed. I had intended on getting into the dentist before leaving California, but with mom's unexpectant brush with H1N1, many things were left undone. I barely had time to get into the optometrist a week before departure. At the time, I was not experiencing any pain so figured I'd be fine waiting 6 mos or so.

Shortly after arriving to Indy, my teeth let me know, it was time to go in. I was preparing to leave the house for an interview the other day. The pain was bad enough that I could barely talk and thought I was going to pass out. After getting on the phone with several dental offices, I found a place that accepts walk-in visitors. Esteban and I loaded up the babies and hit the road.

Getting around Indy isn't too complicated (thanks to my GPS -which I love). However, I have found one aggravation that bugs even my mother who has lived in this neck of the woods for almost 10 years. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why in commercial zones, there is no clear marking of addressess. Sure, there are large signs of many of the businesses...but when one is searching for a location they don't already know, it is helpful to see the address numbers of the strip malls and independent buildings while traveling down the highway at 45-55 mph. It seems people just get used to knowing the names of the various plazas and centers and this is how they figure out where things are at. Meanwhile, a newcomer wastes precious time in pain, searching an extra half hour, trying to figure which way is up because there are next to zero address markings.

Now, I know most people have an aversion to visiting the dentist, but mine is a little unique. I have not mentioned in this blog yet that I am a burn survivor. I rarely talk about this, though obvious to anyone who knows me. There is always a fear that if I complain I'm being forgetful that there are millions whos suffer much more than I do in life. My face is covered in scars, only my forehead and nose were spared. Because scar tissues does not stretch, it is beyond difficult for a dentist to work in my mouth. Most proceedures -even basic ones- take 50% more time to complete. In addition to whatever discomfort or pain the proceedure itself may cause, I'm also subject to pain and soreness in my face from the pull of trying to force my mouth open wide enough.

After the x-ray, it was determined that my pain was being caused by two very large cavities in both the upper and lower wisdom teeth on the left side of my mouth. One of these was coming up on it's side. Especially after reading the quote of the cost, $484, I really didn't want to have my teeth pulled - we have no income yet & have just enough savings to float us through a few months of expenses. Having had to cancel a job interview for a posiition I would have likely landed makes this all the more ironic. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else the dentist could do to help me. The dental assistant assured me I was in luck as the doctor on staff that day was somewhat of a specialist and should be able to remove the wisdoms despite the limitations of my range of mouth opening.

After 11 injections of anesthetic, the worse twisting and pulling of my lower tooth, and many apologies, the dentist decided to hault the proceedure. He decided he may be doing more harm then necessary and was going to refer me to a surgeon. It was only then I started to cry, though I wanted to many times during that period of 40 minutes. The whole time I sat and just prayed that he could do it, my tooth only managed to break off in several pieces. With all of his force, he could not get in the right spot to make the wisdom roots loose enough. Sweating, and feeling so bad, he ended his attempt and prescribed me antiobiotics and pain killer. The assistant was shocked. According to her, he has a 99% success rate at extracting teeth.

I had to wait the next day to get into to be seen by the surgeon. By this time, the trauma of the first attempt was greater than I had thought. Sleeping had been nearly impossible. The pain resonated through out my mouth, face and head. What was strangest, was the burning sensation I experienced in my face. The skin was on fire -pardon the pun- but it was literally hot to the touch. I was red and swollen that night, and the next day, one of the seams where the skin grafts meets normal tissue, had split open. After a week, the scabbing has finally come off, but the wound still aches.

My surgeon plans to put me out completely...in an operating room. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I have had MANY surgeries in my lifetime. That doesn't make it easier. Anytime, one undergoes anesthesia, there is great risk. They will give me relaxers which hopefully will release all the tension, facial muscles and surrounding tissue enough to allow my mouth to be cranked open...or maybe, they'll just have to break my jaw and wire it afterwards. They will go in and attempt to remove all of my wisdom teeth. The two on the right are healthy, but that side of my mouth is tighter, so if at any point, they give me trouble, it would likely mean more surgery. Better now than a second round of treatment later.

As of yesterday, I am feeling somewhat better physically -not in and out of sleep as much and can talk almost normally. Finally had somewhat of a regular meal, though most often I've been grubbing on malt-o-meal hot cereal and coffee or delicious shakes prepared by my sister who's kindness I don't deserve. She's been awesome with trying to help me manage.

Now, we're in a hold stance, waiting for a financial assistance application to go through. The complications of the proceedure needed would most definately wipe out the savings and more. Pray for me :)