Patrick Swayze, 1952-2009

My heart, along with millions of others, just broke yesterday when I read that Patrick Swayze had died. He had been such a part of my life growing up. My earliest memory of watching Patrick on the screen was in Red Dawn. Years later, like most girls in my generation, I desperately wanted to be his "Baby" in Dirty Dancing. Between my sister, our friends and I, we had memorized all the most important lines in the movie - individually, each one of us wishing to play that role. We imagined ourselves practicing dance lifts in the water with Swayze, balancing on fallen tree logs, stepping on his toes, bickering with him, kissing him, and most of...just dancing with him.

What was truly wonderful about that film, was the collection of music it introduced us to. From the oldies, to the latin, to the contemporary, the music delivered the emotion that can't be spoken. The dance sequences were everything from breathtaking to fun. When Mom bought the soundtrack, we often found ourselves acting out the whole Love is Strange scene. We loved pretending to be Sylvia, calling out to her "lover boy". We had the time of our lives, watching Patrick Swayze dance and the music was a part of that journey.

Perhaps the most intense experience for me watching Swayze on film, was during Road House. At age 13, I found myself in the dark with my two favorite boy friends, my guy pal and his older brother - who I had a major crush on at the time. They invited me to see the flick at the theater around the corner from my house. We rode over on our bikes, parked them outside, and went in for what we figured would be a purely action story.

To our surprise, the steamy love scene was more than we could handle. I froze, when it became apparent that this was not your ordinary kiss-and-move-on moment. With passionate gyrating and a climatic lift, I got to see Patrick Swayze's delicious figure, unclothed and moving in such a way that made my spot between two adolescent boys extremely uncomfortable. I don't believe any one of us breathed for the entirety of that scene. Rigid, eyes forward, and hearts pounding, we were very still...and never, ever, did we speak about it.

Then there was Ghost. Another movie I can watch over and over again. I am moved to tears every time Demi is finally able to see Patrick and at last he tells her, "I love you"; she responds with his usual line, "Ditto".

Having watched pancreatic cancer destroy a friend of the family just 1 year and 4 days ago, I find it truly amazing that Patrick Swayze fought it as long as he did. The disease is aggressive and has a survival rate of nearly zero. It is rarely detected early enough to make any treatment successful. Often, those inflicted by this brand of cancer are in stage IV by the time they are diagnosed. It often hides and presents symptoms that could be many other ailments, in the meantime, growing and spreading.

Foregoing pain medication, Swayze continued to act, staring in A&E's The Beast. Unless one has witnessed cancer up front, I don't think one can truly comprehend, physically, what a sacrifice it was to go un-medicated so that he could deliver the depth of the character he felt it deserved. Due to his declining health, the show was not renewed after its initial 13-episode run.

...after 33 years of marriage, his wife Lisa must be devastated. How beautiful to have videos like this though to remember Patrick by. It is amazing that he survived pancreatic cancer these last 20 months, much longer than most victims of this aggressive disease. Mixed in with the grief, I am sure there is a some relief, knowing that he is no longer suffering, that he is at peace. I fall in love with his grace all over again watching this clip.

Good-bye Patrick, you will be missed.